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Monday, April 01, 2013

Harper Government opens thousands of immigration slots for immigration reduction researchers

It is a banner day for research professionals worldwide who are interested in bringing their scientific studies to Canada, as the Harper Government announced today that they were opening up 7,000 immigration slots for academics involved in the statistical discipline of immigration reduction.

"We are excited to open up these opportunities to researchers who can bring with them an immediate benefit to Canada through their research on how to best limit the number of immigrants we must allow into the country each year, " noted Immigration ministry spokesperson Guy LaBarrière. "Immigration reduction is an exciting new frontier in the statistical sciences, and Canada wants to lead the way in both the study and application of their breakthrough concepts."

One of the most promising areas of research deals with causing immigration levels appear to be statistically increasing, while in actuality, reducing the number of immigrants a country allows in.

The new class of immigration, named the Overall Class Reduction Action Program (O-CRAP) will be accepting applicants starting April 1, 2013.

(April Fools!)

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